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Quarantine Diary


My self isolation quarantine diary: 

Day 1 - I can do this!  Got enough food and wine to last a month! 
Day 2 - Opening my 8th bottle of wine.  I fear wine supplies might not last. 
Day 3 - Strawberries:  Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds.  Who knew?
Day 4 - 8 pm.  Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas. 
Day 5 - Today I tried to make hand sanitizer.  It came out as Jell-O shots. 
Day 6 - I get to take the garbage out.  I'm so excited!  I can't decide what to wear.
Day 7 - Laughing way too much at my own jokes. 
Day 8 - Went to a new restaurant called 'The Kitchen.'  You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal.  I      have no clue how this place is still in business.
Day 9 - I put liquor bottles in every room.  Tonight I'm getting dressed up to go bar hopping. 
Day 10 - Struck up a conversation with a spider.  Seems nice.  He's a Web Designer.
Day 11 - Isolation is hard.  I swear my fridge just said 'What the hell do you want now?'
Day 12 - I realize now why dogs get so excited when something moves outside.  I think I just barked at a squirrel. 
Day 13 - If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can't accidently touch your face. 
Day 14 - Watched the birds fight over a worm.  Blue Jays lead Cardinals 3-1. 
Day 15 - Anybody else feel like they've cooked dinner 395 times this month? 

Stay safe everyone! 


Somebody sent me these, some are hilarious and a little too familiar lol...  :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.



Thanks for posting these. I read them to my wife,  we had some really good laughs.  :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Be safe everyone !


Thanks guys... good to laugh.
5th week of working from home. Blessed that I can do this, but ready for it to be over.
Good news is Irene and I are both still alive, and talking to each other.


Almost a month into this virus quarantine and my thoughts turn to Osama Bin Ladin.

He spent five years in that house with three wives.

I'm beginning to think he called in those Navy SEALs himself.


Thanks for the laugh, for me and Harriet, she laughed so hard she almost spilt one of her two glasses of wine. :rotflmao: